Pour Mes Soeurs

Month

January 2012

38 posts

Jan 31, 201221 notes
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Jan 29, 20121 note
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Jan 29, 20121,599 notes
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Jan 29, 20122 notes
Jan 29, 201260 notes
Jan 29, 2012109 notes
Jan 27, 2012
Jan 27, 201215,662 notes
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Jan 26, 2012

This year’s NHL All-Star Game is reminding me of that episode of Boy Meets World where Corey gets invited to a party that Shawn doesn’t get an invitation to, so Corey thinks he is becoming really cool, but then it turns out none of the cool kids are going and they all go hang out at Chubby’s instead and the party turns out to be really lame. 

In this situation, Dennis Wideman is Corey Matthews, Shawn Hunter is Toews/Ovechkin/Crosby/etc., and Chubby’s is the trainer’s room.

Mike Milbury is a heartless Mr. Feeny, giving out instructions nobody will listen to.

Jan 24, 2012
Jan 24, 2012339 notes
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Jan 24, 2012
“

A mother’s prayer for her daughter: “First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her

When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.”

”
—Tina Fey, Bossypants
Jan 22, 2012
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Jan 21, 2012
Jan 19, 2012
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Jan 19, 20122 notes
Jan 18, 20121,200 notes
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Jan 17, 2012
“Too late, play’s over. You waited too long to make a decision. Now we lost the game because of you, now we’re not going to state, and now the whole town of Dillon hates you and you’re never going to get laid. FACT.” —
Jan 17, 2012
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